Happy or Sad?


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This is actually a photo from last fall. I haven’t had opportunities for this great color this year.  But my post isn’t about fall, it’s about self.  Myself.

I struggle.  I struggle with who I am.  On one hand I feel like i am a great person, fun,friendly, etc. On the other hand, I see the faults, today is the day I see those faults, and I thought by writing them, maybe it would help me.

I feel lazy a lot of the times. Not wanting to do anything but to watch tv.  OR play on my smart phone. ( i am addicted to that thing). I don’t get things done like I used to, craft projects, stuff that needs to be done, reading. etc.  I have issues with not going to work when I should be.

Too me it feels like depression, but then I have great days, happy, fun, laughing etc.

I need to find a balance.  I want my kids to see me as a role model. Not as a lazy person. I do a lot for my kids, but by me being home, they see that and ask…why are you home?  It’s hard.  Life is hard.  I struggle to find the happy place.

I work with the public, most of the time I have great days with them. Then some days, I wish I didn’t have to be full front on with them. Rather be in the background.

Lately I have tried the approach to be more positive, and spread that statement to others. It works for awhile, but ….

I can’t seem to relax, I can’t sit still, I wiggle and jiggle and have to have something to do. It effects my stress.

SO, a new leaf I must turn, as the leave’s are turning color on the tree’s, I too need to change.  I want my happy back, my sparkle,

Please encourage your friends, be positive, lift people up, no negativity. I need to do that too.

Tracy

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One thought on “Happy or Sad?

  1. Talk to a doctor about your depression! I know you don’t like meds but maybe something can help with that sweetie!! I have done so in the past and it helped get me through it!! Love you

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